You may find the implicit assumption (or even insistence) that ‘the Chinese way’ is superior to anything else frustrating (or even contrary to reality); however, it is definitely an area in which you should tread lightly. A Westerner who can follow cues that are consistent with ‘the Chinese way’ is not only appreciated for it, but gets extra points for ‘understanding Chinese culture.’

There may be regular instances of situations in which observing the following behaviours will help you stay in step with your Chinese counterparts and avoid resentment or conflicts developing:

• Deference to the knowledge – actual or presumed – of your Chinese hosts or partners
• Patience and a cool temper – or at least a calm facade
• Willingness to listen – even if you know, or at least strongly suspect, that your Chinese counterpart is wrong, and
• Good-natured acceptance of criticism.

 As for self-depreciation, the appropriate response is hearty contradiction, insisting on the quality of the surroundings, the good reputation of the host, etc. Never fail to object to or, worse, agree with such comments; it would be disconcerting to your host and potentially embarrassing for you.

Keeping all this in mind, you should remember not to allow the modesty of your Chinese counterparts to put you off paying compliments. The Chinese value praise as much as anyone else, but they may have more difficulty thanking you for a compliment and leaving it at that.