Know When to Drop It

If you keep hearing “It’s not very clear,” you are probably not going to get much further by pursuing the same line of questioning. Best to drop it and come back to it later, or start looking for someone who actually has the information you need.

Whatever You Do, Don’t …

When questioning a Chinese counterpart it is critical to avoid a tone of voice that conveys impatience, forcefulness, urgency, suspicion, or accusation. Any or all of these will be met with defensive and/or obstructionist responses. It is always up to you to determine what motivates the actions of your Chinese counterparts, and you must probe for these motivations subtly, as they will never be openly revealed, and obvious attempts to uncover them will be met with resistance.

NOT “Why didn’t you…” BUT “Is it possible to…”

Do not put someone on the spot by pointing out that s/he has neglected to do something or failed in some task. The Chinese are particularly antagonistic to having their failures or mistakes pointed out by others, especially in public/in front of their colleagues and by a foreigner. Make your question more general, without specifying a particular person as responsible, but clearly stating what you think actually is possible.

NOT “How does one…” or “Could I…” BUT “I would like to…”

You may encounter evasive replies, either as a way to put you off or, as explained earlier, a round-about way of saying ‘no.’ By saying “I would like to…” you indicate that your mind is made up, and you are looking for an answer to a specific approach that is already determined, not soliciting advice or opinions. While this approach has its advantages, be careful not to let your firmness turn into assertiveness or, worse, aggression. Do not give someone an excuse to become recalcitrant.