Despite what you may have heard or read, you do not need to be overly concerned about this much discussed aspect of Chinese culture. There are many ways to give someone face, but very few that will cause him/her to lose any significant amount. Besides, you are a foreigner, which means you are automatically excused for being a bit uncouth by Chinese standards and for not understanding or being used to Chinese ways.

The reality is that different ‘standards’ of face apply in different situations depending upon the relationships among the people involved. For example, although a Chinese colleague may have difficulty telling an acquaintance that s/he is unhappy or angry by what has been said or done, they will show no such compunction with strangers.

You will observe this principle in action if you are witness to an accident involving people who are unacquainted. No one involved in this kind of incident will have any hesitation in telling off the other parties, even in public and even if it creates a ruckus.

On the other hand, face can manifest itself in your Chinese counterpart’s reluctance to point out something that might embarrass or hurt you, even if the consequences of not doing so are relatively serious. For example, s/he might fail to turn up for a meeting, even a critical one, rather than simply calling to re-schedule or cancel it.

Although this will inconvenience – and most likely annoy – the other attendees of the meeting, your counterpart may think it is more polite not to turn up at all than to admit they have changed their mind about wanting the meeting in the first place.